Old 03-05-2019, 05:31 PM
Polar Bear
BABV Name: please stop, babw
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 8,095
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 CambriaSpeedRacer is offline Status: Offline

Well, since in about an hour I'm going to take a HUGE leap, now's as good a time as any to answer the question.

I have changed. A lot. When Bearville closed, life just... went on. I was hurting, of course, but life kept going.

About a year later, I was getting fed up with how deeply I felt about everything. So I did some poking around, and realized I was a highly sensitive person as well as an introvert (INFP, specifically). I became entranced; I needed to know more about myself as a person. I needed to know who I was.

Several months later, I kept feeling really anxious. At first I thought it was because I'm a HSP, but... I started looking up symptoms of anxiety. My mom also noticed my anxiety ad decided t talk with my doctor about it.

He said it was "just normal teenage girl anxiety". It's been nearly two and a half years and I'm still salty - more on that later.

In the following months, my parents grew busy with projects they had to work on; one of these was a party for my brother. All the attention went to him; I began to feel left behind when I needed my parents the most. But I chalked it up to "just normal teenage girl anxiety" and that since it was normal, I had to deal with my problems on my own. Because of course! Who cares that I had a panic attack during one of the most important events in my brother's life!

...said I'm still salty. just now realizing that I'm getting close to becoming Emma Swan

Also, I was struggling so much, I fell behind in school (helped by the fact that the World History curriculum was the worst thing ever). So my parents, of course, took away internet, phone, tablet, typical parenting stuff... which would've beengreat if the main problem wasn't you guys are neglecting me and I'm also absorbing your stress please help me!

Yeah, during that era, I became pretty jealous of my brother. Why can he make all these important decisions in his life, when I can't because of my "normal teenage girl anxiety"? Why should he get all the attention, when I'm left in the river with no clue how to swim?

spoiler alert: I am now my brother's age and am still unable to make these important decisions. thanks, normal teenage girl anxiety.

A few months after that, my parents became a bit more understanding of my issues. I was still unable to open up, because I had no support for so long. Heck, I'm still struggling with opening up to them. I finally broke a couple weeks ago - like, over a year after they started being more understanding.

I'm going to the doctor soon to finally get me diagnosed with something. Hopefully anxiety, which I've suspected for two years.

So yeah. Since Bearville closed, I hit rock bottom and I'm trying to climb back to the top. Let's hope I can actually get myself out of that hole...

EDIT: I'm about to go onto medication, so... yup, my life turned upside down since Bearville closed.

Probably worth mentioning that if Bearville was still open, I'd probably be using it as a coping mechanism.

Last edited by CambriaSpeedRacer; 03-05-2019 at 08:26 PM..