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Old 07-12-2011, 02:20 PM
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Default {405} A story by Ducky.

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{Chapters}
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
.



Chapter One.

The rain pounded on the winding dirt road, “Kylie, slow down!” I giggled. “We’re fine, The.” she replied, glancing over at me. “Kylie!” I screeched, spotting the ‘bridge out’ sign, but it was too late.

My eyes fluttered open in a stark white hospital room. As I sat up a woman with long brown hair came through the door and rushed to my side. “Where am I?” I demanded as loudly as my cracked voice would allow. “How are you feeling?” she asked, leaning over my bed. “Where am I?” I repeated, “I’ll tell, you, but first we need to verify a few things.” she said, pulling a chart from her pocket, “You’re name is Theory Anne Larou, correct?” I nodded. “Ok, you’re 16 years old, born on May 8th, 1995. Five feet, eight inches tall. All correct?” I nodded once more. “Ok,” she continued, “what were you going to ask me?”
“Where’s Kylie?” I inquired, slowly sitting up. “Who?” she said, puzzled. “My twin sister. She was driving the car when we crashed.”
“Theory, we found you alone, in the driver’s seat.’ she whispered. “No! She was driving. She was there! Now where is she?” I screamed, setting off alarms. “Calm down. You’re just confused. Now, let’s get you into some clean clothes, shall we?”
Ten minuets later I emerged wearing a simple green sweater, blue jeans, and the worn-out, blue sneakers I was wearing in the crash, with my long, black hair in a single braid down my back. The room seemed to be a train’s dinning car, filled with people, most of which were my age, laughing, talking and eating, but something was very off. I found a seat by a pixie-looking girl with short, blond hair, “Hi! I’m Laila.” she chirped, extending a tiny hand. “I’m Theory,” I mumbled, extending my own. “What is this place?” I asked her, rubbing my eye. “It’s a train, silly. Oh, they did say you were confused,” she rambled.
After I dinner of stew and potatoes I was ushered into a small but nice room containing a bed, dresser, desk, and a small bathroom. The dresser was full of clothes, all in my size. I selected a pair of silk pajamas and tucked myself in to the comfy bed. Tomorrow, I thought, I’ll get off at the first stop and go find Kylie.


Last edited by ducky2713; 10-12-2011 at 10:59 PM..
  #2  
Old 07-12-2011, 02:26 PM
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Ohh! So exciting. Great beginning. It has a big tone of mystery, can't wait to read more. (:
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Old 07-12-2011, 02:29 PM
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View Post Originally Posted by BrooklynCinnamon6
Ohh! So exciting. Great beginning. It has a big tone of mystery, can't wait to read more. (:
Thanks (: I'm gonna post the next chapter later today.
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Old 07-12-2011, 02:30 PM
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Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Interesting, mysterious, hooking, suspenseful, well-written, exciting, good descriptions, the characters seem real... And this is just the beginning! I bet that this story is going to be completely and utterly spectacular! =D
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Old 07-12-2011, 02:32 PM
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Can't wait to read it! 8D
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Old 07-12-2011, 02:34 PM
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View Post Originally Posted by NataliePopstar104
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Interesting, mysterious, hooking, suspenseful, well-written, exciting, good descriptions, the characters seem real... And this is just the beginning! I bet that this story is going to be completely and utterly spectacular! =D
Thank you so much!
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Old 07-12-2011, 02:35 PM
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This is amazing! It's got
great detail, mystery, and
suspense! I can't wait
for more. (:
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Old 07-12-2011, 03:06 PM
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Chapter two.
Cool air brushed my face as my toes hit the plush carpet with a thump. And, for only a second, I was back in my bed a home, but then the awful events of the previous day came back to me. I shuffled over to the closet and selected a pair of shorts, a navy striped top, and slipped on my shoes. The corridor outside my room was empty, as was the dining car, so I proceeded to another part of the train, which was empty except for a handsome boy with messy black hair and deep blue eyes. “Hi,” he said, turning from the window, “I’m Hudson Rhys.”
“Theory Larou.” I introduced, “I was looking for someone to talk to about getting off this train,”
“Off? Ha. Nobody gets off. Well, nobody asks, at least. They let everyone off eventually.” Hudson explained lightly, “You don’t understand. I have to get off. My parents will be a wreck, and I have to find- I just need to get off, ok?” I rambled anxiously, “Hey, I wanna get outta here too, kid, but it ain’t gonna happen. And anyway, this place isn’t completely horrible, as long as you keep your head, that is.” he lectured. “Come on, I’ll show you to the common room.”
The next car over was filled with people, and gorgeous music was coming from a crowded corner. I made my way through the crowed to find a girl with long, messy blond hair sitting behind a grand piano. She finished her song, stood, and bowed, while the whole room clapped. “Hi, I’m Lyric Sorrel,” she smiled, extending her hand. How fitting, I thought. “I’m Theory Larou,” She picked up a leather shoulder bag from the floor and placed it on her shoulder. “Ska! I’m over here!” she called, and a girl with two long blond braids and deep blue eyes not unlike Lyric’s made her way through the crowd. “Ska, this is Theory, Theory, this is Ska, my little sister.” I shook Ska’s delicate hand. “We’ve got French in car 2, but it was great to meet you,” the young girl announced. The whole room seemed to be having a joyous time, despite being trapped on a train to nowhere. By 11 o’clock the room was empty, save me and a snake-like man with a clipboard. “Name?” he almost hissed. “Theory Larou.” I said for the thousandth time that day. “You’re new.” he stated, peering over his glasses, “Orientation is in car five.” I gave him a blank stare. “That way,” he points me, annoyed.
The room marked ‘New Members’ was held a mouse-like old woman and a girl no older than six. “Hello. I am Miss Hullberry.” she introduced, “Welcome to train 405. Founded in 1973 by Anne Jedore. You have come here because you were terribly confused, and we are here to cure you. Any questions before we begin?”
“Yes. When can I get off?” I inquired adjusting my shirt. “Weren’t you listening, dear? When you are in your right mind” she said with a sickening smile. “I am in my right mind.” I retort. “Calm down.”
“I don’t need to calm down!” I screech, nearly knocking over my chair. And with that two guards came in and drag me to my room.
I suppose I did look rather crazy, clawing at the guards and cackling at the terrified child who witnessed my fit. ’Monser’, I think Hullbery used, but I’m not a monster. I sobbed on my crisp white pillow. Maybe I am, I thought, maybe I am a monster. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe this place is exactly what I need

Last edited by ducky2713; 07-18-2011 at 08:11 PM..
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Old 07-12-2011, 03:30 PM
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Ohh! So much emotion and mystery! Greeeaaat chapter. (:
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Old 07-12-2011, 04:09 PM
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whoa, intense. where is her sis? great job btw.
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